Written by Kate Nudds, Grieve Then Achieve

When we consider grief in the workplace, most of us immediately think about grief from a bereavement but grief from loss is so much bigger and more messier than this. Your employees are grieving, amongst many other losses, their divorces, baby loss, health diagnoses, pet loss, ageing parents, the kids leaving for uni, estrangement and all the shattered hopes and dreams of the future that come from losses.

Then of course, there’s bereavement to consider, but not the death of a close family member that the HR policy covers, how about the ex-partner they still loved or the colleague who became a close friend or even the estranged parent that is no longer in their lives.

Sadly, their grief doesn’t fit into a neat little box with a timeline; it doesn’t start on a Friday at 5pm and end on a Sunday at 9pm ready for a Monday morning start at work. It comes in bursts throughout the day, whether that’s during the 9am stand-up or at the midday board meeting and everyone’s timeline is different. Grief can show up years later and we don’t always realise it’s grief that’s affecting us or how we’ve been triggered.

We might think we are fine, coping, doing what we need to at work, getting the presentation designed and writing that report, but then a sight, a sound, a smell and we’re in the toilets trying to rearrange our mask again, hoping no one noticed it slipped. Then we are straight back to our desks, answering emails, sitting in meetings, looking like we are coping, whilst sitting in the pain of grief.

So, how can you support your grieving employees better?

Firstly, you just need to want to understand your people a little better and then be flexible, because everyone navigates grief so differently. Could you give more than 3 days’ leave and consider offering more flexible leave to suit the person and their very individual needs? Some might need more leave initially, but some may wish to take that leave over the following months, we are all different and need to be treated as such.

Could you offer flexible working with shorter days or more working from home options, maybe starting a little later or finishing a little earlier if needed? But most importantly, you ask your people what they need, don’t assume, just ask them what would help them at this time. Check in with them often, ask how they really are and listen for the answer and be available for them. Understand that grief affects every part of us, from our concentration, memory, decision-making, to our energy levels throughout the day. So, helping with small adjustments to our workload or to deadlines can really help, and if you are not sure how to support someone, then please, ask them. By creating a culture of compassion and empathy for your people, you’ll notice a difference in your retention rate and engagement.

Could you offer a grief support group to help your colleagues with their grief? A group can help by providing a safe, supportive and non-judgemental space to be able to talk about their losses surrounding by a community that understands, helping reduce the isolation that often comes with grief. A group can help provide your employees with psychoeducation and practical tools around navigating grief at work and helping with retention and employee well-being.

Just reach out to me if you’d like to talk further about setting up a grief group in your workplace or how I can offer support to those grieving or those managing your employees who are grieving.

Grief and loss is something that every single one of your employees will face at some point, so just be as flexible and supportive as you can and talk to them and truly support them; they’ll thank you for being a compassionate employer.

You can reach me on kate@grievethenachieve.co.uk or click the logo below to visit my website.